


Feelings

by deansexual



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Impala Sex, M/M, Sad Dean Winchester, Sexy Dean Winchester, Sexy Sam Winchester, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 09:19:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9714962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansexual/pseuds/deansexual
Summary: "I don't want to talk about my feelings, Sammy!""Why not?""Because I love you, and thinking about going to hell and never being with you again kills me!"





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This happens to be my 2nd wincest one-shot (The first being one called Kiss). It is also my first attempt at trying to write smut properly, and I am not sure if that worked out well. This one-shot takes place in my version of a time in Season 3, before Dean goes to Hell. So I guess enjoy.

1 month. 1 month until Dean's time was up, and he was going to Hell. 1 month left for him to tell Sammy how he feels; how he truly feels. But how did one go about telling their younger brother they had feelings that were more than sibling love.

Dean couldn't help but think of Sam and how he was going to go about life without him. He couldn't even begin to think how he would survive Hell without his Sammy.

The truth is, Dean continues life for Sam. He never did it for Dad, for his mom, his friends, or even Bobby. Everything he did in his life, every hunt, every hard decision, was for Sam. 

"Come one Dean, what's got into ya" he whispered to himself as he leaned against the hood of his car, hands in his pocket.

The feelings developed before Sam left to college, and had slowly dissipated when he left. When Dad had left, it gave him all the more reason to see Sam. When he had gotten to Sam, and seen Jessica, it broke him a little. He would never admit it, and he hoped it was never used against him, but he was almost happy when he found out Jessica had died.

"Dean" he said his own name, warning himself from continuing his thoughts.

He shook his head, turning it just a little bit to look at Sam who was sleeping in the back seat of his Impala. He could faintly see the rising and falling of his chest, his head turning in his sleep. A small smirk appeared on his face and a small chuckle escaped from his throat.

He loved his brother, more then anyone in the world. It was the whole reason why he made the deal with the demon, and gave his life for Sam's. He turned his head back around, looking forward into the night.

He sighed as he looked up at the sky, wondering if there was a god up there. If there were angels watching over his little brother. He wanted to believe that if not angels and God, their mother and father were watching.

"Dean?" a tired Sam asked as he opened the Impala door, and closed it.

Dean turned his head, and stared at Sam, a smile appearing on his face.

"Well Sammy, I'm trying to be sentimental. It ain't working" He said sarcastically, hoping his facade would hold up. 

Sam cocked his head to the side, a questioning look on his face. He knew Dean better then anyone, and knew when something was up. Of course it could have been about the fact in a month he would be in Hell.

"You're thinking about Hell, aren't you?" Sam asked, his facing contorting into emotions Dean hated: Pity, sorrow, and a tinge of something else.

"There's not much else to think of Sammy. In a month I'm going downstairs, and I don't even know what I'm suppose to do. I mean I'm going to Hell" He chuckled, hoping it covered up what he was truly thinking about.

Sam only stared at his brother before walking to him, and leaning against the Impala. If it were any other moment, he would have scolded Sam for leaning on 'Baby', but he wanted Sam close to him.

"Dean, don't say that. We can find a way to get you out of the deal, and save you. You don't have to go to Hell just yet" he sighed" You shouldn't have saved me in the first place" His voice had a tinge of anger and sadness, making Dean want to break down.

"Oh come on Sammy, what was I suppose to do? Let you die? You must be out of your mind if you ever think I'll let that happen" he chuckled "Over my dead body"

"Dean, I can see through you. I know that deep down this scares you more then anything, so just talk about it to me. It's the least I can do since you are dying because of me!" Sam said, almost begging. 

Dean turned and looked away from his brother, his eyes watering up. How could he be crying when he was suppose to be the big brother? Sam was suppose to always look up to him, and think he was the greatest. He took a breath, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it Sam" was all he could manage to say.

"You should! You shouldn't have to suffer alone, waiting for death to take you. I'm your brother, you're suppose to share everything with me! No secrets Dean" Sam said, anger becoming more noticeable in his voice.

"I don't want to talk about my feelings, Sammy!" Dean yelled, turning to face his brother. He couldn't help it as tears streamed down his face, clouding his vision. 

He wanted to share his feelings, about how he loved him. Not just brotherly love, something more. He was already going to Hell, so what would it matter if he created one more sin? He so badly wanted to be with his brother before he left, but he knew it wouldn't happen.

"Why not?" He asked.

Dean could feel so many emotions running through him, and it made him want to scream. He could feel his mind becoming fuzzy, his heart was racing. All he could think was that he loved his brother, and wanted to tell him that. 

"Because I love you, and thinking about going to hell and never being with you again kills me!" He screamed, stepping forward to fully face his brother.

He gulped as he finally realized what he said, taking a step back from Sam. Even though he was mortified by what he had said, he wanted to lean forward and kiss Sam. He wanted to hold Sam in his arms, even if only for a moment.

"You know I love you too, and that this will tear me apart as well!" Sam replied, the anger leaving his voice.

Dean chuckled at the fact Sam, who was able to read him so well, had missed the double meaning to his 'I love you'. 

"You just don't get it Sammy. And not just about how I feel about Hell; dying and all. I'm talking about my love for you, and that I don't want to leave you!" He was more angry, his words mixed with the love he felt, and the anger coursing through him.

Sam's head tilted in confusion once again, his mouth hanging open as he began to put together the puzzle pieces. Dean wanted so badly to take back every word that came out of his mouth, but he couldn't. A part of him wanted Sam to find out his feelings, and reject or accept him right then and there.

"Dean?" Sam asked, his eyes asking what he really wanted to ask.

Dean looked away, his eyes once again watering. It wasn't like him to cry or even get a tad bit emotional in serious situations. It wasn't like him to open up, show his true feelings, to anyone, even his brother. He could feel Sam looking at him, his eyes still asking the unspoken question. He wanted to ignore Sam, evade the unspoken question, and change the subject like he always did.

But he couldn't keep on evading questions.

"Ask it Sammy. Ask me the question" Dean said, his voice breaking towards the end.

His eyes couldn't meet Sam's, but he knew that Sam was struggling to find the words to ask the question. Dean's heart was pounding as seconds went by, feeling almost like an eternity. His heart was beating so fast he could feel it everywhere in his body, making him feel dizzy.

"Dean, what exactly do you mean? What do you mean by your love for me? What aren't you telling me?" He asked, each question made Dean's heart go faster.

"I mean that I love you Sam. And not that brotherly love, or anything. I mean the type of love I'm afraid of having. The love that made me give my life for yours Sammy!" Dean tried to stop the tears, but they kept rolling down his cheeks.

His face was still turned away from Sam's, his cheeks burning with shame and embarrassment. To keep the tears from falling he closed his eyes, and maybe if he kept them closed long enough he would wake up as if it were a dream.

"Dean, look at me" Sam's words were soft, comforting in a way. 

Dean didn't dare to open his eyes in fear that his brother would reject him. He flinched as he felt a cool finger under his chin, slightly pulling it forward. He opened his eyes, looking up into Sam's eyes. 

They weren't filled with disgust, hatred, or shame. No, quite the opposite. They were filled with love and happiness.

"What is i-" He was cut off as soft lips met his own, enveloping him in warmth. Panic flooded his body as he wondered if he was imagining kissing Sam, or if he had acted out on his instinct. But the cool finger under his chin and warm lips against his own proved it was real.

Dean wrapped his hands around Sam, pulling him tighter against his own body. It was a bit uncomfortable having his face tilt up to kiss as he was so use to looking down, but it didn't matter much. All that mattered was that the body pressed against his would never leave.

"Sam?" Dean asked as his lips pulled away, coming back again.

Sam only nodded his head as his kisses got more hungry, his hands wrapped firmly around Dean's neck.

Dean's hands moved from around his stomach, down to his pants. His fingers tugged on the button, moving down to the zipper. Hearing the zipper come undone was enough to excite him, even more then the kiss.

His hands moved back up to Sam's waist as he pushed Sam against his car, kissing him with more and more hunger. His eyes widened as he suddenly took in the situation, pulling away for a moment.

"Not against Baby; inside" Dean said, pulling away from Sam.

He turned from his brother as he walked to the back seat, thankful that it had already been converted into a makeshift bed. He took a deep breath as he entered the backseat of his Impala, laying down and turning over as Sam came in.

His heart began to pound faster and faster against his chest, hitting his ribs. He could feel his heartbeat all over his body; in his head especially. And as soon as Sam got into the car, closing the door behind him, he felt as if his heart would explode right then and there.

Sam hovered over his body, his hair dangling down like a blanket over his face. As soon as he adjusted to the small space, he leaned down to Dean, his lips meeting Dean's. His legs had spread apart Dean's own legs, putting pressure against a certain area.

"Sam" Dean gasped, opening his mouth, letting in Sam's warm tongue.

Sam chuckled at the reaction he had gotten from his brother, taking the moment to press himself further against Dean. Dean's hands moved on their own, slithering down to Sam's waist, pulling down his pants, exposing tight boxers. 

"Easy there tiger" Sam chuckled as he pulled himself off of Dean, bending over a bit as to not hit the roof of the car.

Dean smiled as he knew Sam had to have picked that up from him. Dean sat up, against the door, carefully removing his shirt. He may have had the urge to rip it off right then and there, but he didn't have a lot of clothes to go and do that. As his fingers touched the zipper, Sam swatted his hands away, bending his head down to kiss Dean's happy trail.

"Woah, easy there tiger" Dean smirked, winking down at Sam.

Sam shook his head as he continued kissing Dean's happy trail, his fingers tugging down the zipper, and then his pants. Dean could feel the cool air hit his boxers, leaking under, touching his hot skin.

His hips involuntarily moved upwards, pleasure sparking everywhere in his body. By the look on Sam's face, he looked pleased by the reaction he had gotten. As he pulled Dean's pants down, he made sure his fingers trailed down along Dean's burning skin, earning moans from him.

When Dean's pants were finally off, leaving him only in his boxers, he pulled Sam's face back up to his own, capturing his soft lips in another kiss. His fingers trailed to his neck, slowly undoing the buttons from top to bottom. Just like Sam had did to him, he made sure to have his fingers touch his very heated skin, arousing him further.

Sam had finished the rest once Dean was done; pulling his arms out of the sleeves and throwing the shirt to the side. Still kissing Dean, he managed to remove his pants which were half way on, leaving them both in only their boxers.

"Top or bottom?" Sam asked.

Dean stopped kissing Sam as he pulled back, looking at his brother. He was, honestly, surprised by what he had just said. Sam, who he thought couldn't get farther from innocence, just asked if he wanted top or bottom.

It was almost like a dream.

"Top" Dean chuckled, leaning forward to kiss Sam more.

Sam chuckled against his lips as he pushed Dean back onto the seats, slowly turning around so that Dean was on top of him. It was an awkward process that Dean thought would end with him in an even weirder position.

As his body lay on top of Sam's, he could feel hands tugging down his boxers, slowly exposing his v line and more. He couldn't help but moan as he could feel himself getting excited, and pressing further down onto Sam.

Once his own boxers were off, he had wiggled Sam's off, leaving them with skin on skin contact.

Both of their bodies were on fire, burning even more with lust and hunger. It was almost like instinct for Sam as he turned Dean around, having him sit right on his excitement. The fast and swift movement had surprised Dean, making him yelp.

"H-Hey I thought you said I was top" He said, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"You're on top of me, aren't you? Besides," Sam's lips touched Dean's ear, his breath tickling him" I'm bigger than you" His voice was like dripping honey; sweet and thick.

Dean nodded as he couldn't deny the fact that Sam was a bit bigger, but not a whole lot.

He could feel Sam against him, straightening up. Sam's hands slithered around his waist, grabbing a hold of his excitement. His body jolted upward from the pleasure of Sam touching him. In the moment Dean jolted up and off of his body, Sam took the time to push himself into Dean.

"Agghhhh!" Dean cried out in pain.

His body slowly fell back down onto Sam, his breathing becoming erratic and short. He continued to cry out in pain, tears streaming down his face, blurring his vision. Through the pain he could feel pleasure sparking up, and he could see, feel, Sam touching him.

"Shh, it's going to be fine" Sam whispered in Dean's ear, kissing his neck as if to apologize for the pain.

Dean panted and cried out as he adjusted to the intruder inside of him. It took a minute or so for him to finally calm down, and feel the pleasure Sam had been giving him. He almost felt bad for making his brother wait so long to get what he needed, but it had hurt too much.

"I-I'm ready" he said shakily.

Sam didn't respond as he gripped Dean tighter, rubbing his excitement. Dean slowly lifted himself off of Sam before slowly coming back down, sending Sam into Heaven. He winced in pain as he pushed himself back up, coming down once again. This time, Sam had bucked his hips upward, meeting Dean half way there.

Something in Dean had awakened as he began to move up and down faster, rocking his hips as well. As he picked up his pace, Sam's hand had seemed to match it equally. He no longer cried in pain from the thrusts. Instead, he moaned in pleasure, begging to go faster.

His body shook as he moved up and down, his hand resting on the head rest, the other on the back seat. Sweat beaded his forehead as the Impala began to heat up from them. If it were any other time, or person, he would have complained about doing it without rolling a window down. But at that moment, it didn't matter.

As Dean came up once more, he pulled himself off of Sam, earning a confused grunt from him. He smirked as he turned around, and faced Sam as he pushed himself back onto him. Before Sam could question why the change in position, Dean pushed his lips against his.

Dean picked up the rhythm he was once at, picking up the speed a little. He could feel his excitement leaking a little onto Sam's chest, further arousing him. He moaned against Sam's lips, his hands pulling his face closer to his own.

Sam gripped Dean's excitement once more, matching Dean's tempo as he did before. His other hand had traveled down to Dean's waist, going even further down to his butt. He had always wondered what it would feel like to squeeze his butt, so he took the opportunity. 

"Aggghhhh Sam" Dean moaned out, his pace quickening.

Sam's hips bucked up into Dean when he moaned his name, turning him into an animal. His thrusts came off tempo with Dean's, going even faster than they were before. His hand began to pump Dean's excitement faster as well, making him scream with pleasure.

Dean tried to match the thrusts with his own movements, but he couldn't keep up the pace. Sam was completely overtaken by lust.

Sam pulled away from the kiss, and then pulled Dean off of him. He turned Dean around, forcing him onto fours, and then pushing him onto his knees and elbows. His body bent forward as he hovered over Dean, pushing himself back in.

He gripped Dean's waist with both of his hands as he began to thrust harder, and go faster. Dean had already grabbed his own excitement, and began to pump at the rhythm of Sam's thrusts. They were both very close as they were already leaking a bit.

"Sammy, I-I'm going to- Agghhh" Dean moaned out as he could feel himself reaching his peak, his excitement leaking onto the seat of his Impala.

"D-Dean!" Sam moaned out.

Sam was almost there as he quickened his thrusts, finally reaching his peak, leaking in Dean. He slowly pulled out, some of his seed seeping out of Dean. He got off of Dean, and collapsed onto the seat, panting from what had just happen.

Dean sat down next to him, just as exhausted as Sam. Both of their bodies were burning up, but not from sexual desire like it had once been.

"Can you roll down a window, it's hot in here and it ain't 'cause of my looks" Dean chuckled, leaning his head back.

Sam laughed as he rolled down the window, letting in the cool night's air. As they both caught their breaths, they couldn't help but think of how peaceful it was.

"You know I love you Sammy, no matter what?" Dean asked as he finally caught his breath.

"Of course I know" He smiled "Although I love you even more" he replied.

Dean chuckled as he leaned over, resting his head on Sam's shoulder.


End file.
